No Idea
by Wishing-for-a-Zoro-plushie
Summary: OPU A little random story. ZoLu. Some pretty fuuunny stuffs in here. What happens when the captain has no idea, and Zoro has no one else to turn to? Read and find out! Rated for swearing... looots of swearing.


**This is weird, this story i mean. Just a little strange.**

Anyway, this is for Dadonna's birthday, and as a present for her for doing Alone Fanart for me! If you wanna check it out, just go to my profile page! It's at the top and very easy to see, I promise!

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_**No idea**_

The hell had he been thinking!? Going to that stupid love cook for advice? What, had he had some sort of frickin… mental shut down or something!? Sanji stumbled out of the kitchen, laughing so hard that he could barely stand straight while Zoro's face burned and he walked away.

"Zo…ahaha… Zoro wait…" and Sanji stumbled after him as Zoro steamed angrily.

"Of all the fucking people to ask for advice! I ask _**you. **_What, am I mentally retarded!?" Zoro growled, shrugging Sanji's hand from his shoulder as he stalked away. The blonde laughed even harder at that before he fell to the deck with a soft thump and rolled over onto his forehead, fist clenched in front of him as he laughed so hard, while the other was wrapped around his stomach. By now, Zoro's face could have passed as one big blood vessel, as veins twitched all over his forehead, and the usual tanned colour, turned a very deep scarlet. Stomping his way up the stairs and to the deck behind Nami's tangerines, he fwumped down by the railing and frowned moodily, arms crossed over his chest. He could just see the insults now…

"Aww, ickle Zoro's in love!" that would be Nami.

"Are you gonna pop the question soon?" Usopp.

"Now you're not just a Marimo, you're a _gay _Marimo!" and that fucking, lousy, good for nothing, waste of space, shitty CHEF! WHY!? WHY had he told that bastard about his secret!? He must have been having a fucking moment of pure idiocy to even ATTEMPT telling Sanji anything like that. Soon, Sanji emerged in front of him, and Zoro's face darkened, an obvious sign that people should stay away… or risk dying a very painful, but short death.

"I'm… ha… I'm sorry, Marimo…" Sanji said as he walked over to him and Zoro glowered at the deck, "It's just funny, ne? Wouldn'ta taken you for the 'loving' type."

"What the fuck do you know?" Zoro hissed, glaring at him. Sanji snorted and thumped down beside him, leaning against the rail. Zoro turned a dangerous glare at him, one so nasty that even Sanji felt a little worried. He moved over just an inch and smirked.

"I'm sorry… really… but why the hell'd you come to me?"

"I don't fucking know! Okay! I can't talk to Luffy, because…" and he trailed off, glancing at the deck as his cheeks recoloured again, "and I can't talk to Nami, because she'd just want money for advice, and I can't ask Chopper or Usopp… mainly because they'd have no clue. And I'm not going anywhere NEAR that black haired bitch."

"Oi, oi… keep your personal opinions to yourself bastard. I'll help, but I won't tolerate you talking badly about the ladies. Got it asshole?" Sanji growled, lighting another cigarette. Zoro scoffed nastily and looked in another direction.

"Just go away then. I don't want, or _need _anyone's help… let alone yours." Zoro snarled, turning back to him again and glaring. Sanji shrugged.

"Whatever. I don't give a damn. Bumble your way around Luffy then, but next time you 'accidentally' push him into the ocean because he got 'too close' to you, don't expect _me _to save him." and he got to his feet and walked away, sticking a hand in his pocket as he went while Zoro's pride became a massive problem. Once Sanji was gone, Zoro sighed. If this had to be done… then it had to be done _his _way, no one else's.

Getting to his feet, he forced himself to calm down and deblush, before he stalked across the deck at a quick pace and then headed for the figurehead, where Luffy was sitting on the top of the ram's head and grinning at nothing as he stared out to see. Frowning, Zoro walked over to him and in the most intelligent, and smartest way he knew… he told him.

"Luffy… I like you." he said bluntly and Luffy blinked as he turned to him, before a wide smile spread across his face.

"I already know that, Zoro! If ya didn't like me, you wouldn't have come with me, ne?" and he chuckled, totally missing what Zoro was talking about. A smile spread across Zoro's face.

"Right." and now that he had gotten that off of his chest, he felt a lot better for it. Grinning, he slid down by the rail and closed his eyes, suddenly feeling a little better about the day ahead, despite the fact that the shitty chef was going to be laughing at him, but he would fix that. He would keep the blonde haired princess quiet by bribing him. After all, pictures of Sanji sniffing Nami's clothes were worth their weight in gold... or in this case, bribery.

And Luffy… still had no idea.

**End**

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**HAPPY BIRTHDAY DON-DON!! Hope you likey!!! -hugs and kisses and all that other spazzy stuff- XD**

And yes, I was possibly on a natural high when I wrote this... --'''


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